Old Ties Resurface
We've all been there. That gut-wrenching moment when a seemingly harmless detail from your partner's past slams into your present like a wrecking ball. A casual confession, a past unexpected connection; and then suddenly, you're blindsided by a wave of insecurities you didn't even know you had. Left to question everything from your relationship to your self-worth that situations like this stir up. And while the past is supposed to stay in the past, it has an uncanny way of showing up, uninvited, at the most inopportune moments. How do you navigate that? More importantly, how do you protect yourself from letting it destroy what you’ve built?
One of our readers recently shared a very real experience in a similar situation where past meets present, where that little ‘hunch’ you often feel sometimes on a subconscious level sees more then you consciously do, and most often in good or...may way say not so good of a reason, though for some cosmic logic these facts had to come to our attention. To maintain privacy names of persons have changed. Enjoy the feature:
“I sat stiff in the salon chair, my heart racing as I tried to block out the therapist’s voice. You know ... that one nail technician we all have if the one we usually go to is fully booked... kind of like a ‘back burner’ but for nails. She was chatting away, as usual, talking about her plans for the weekend—some festival she was going to, hoping to get backstage again, like she used to in the old days. My stomach churned at the thought. She had always seemed a little too…free-spirited. Even from our first appointment, there was something off about her, but I never thought I’d be sitting here, knowing what I know now.
It was just last week, mid-polish, when she had dropped the bomb. “Oh, you’re seeing Logan?” she had said, almost amused. “We used to have a thing. Nothing serious, just a few hookups. We were, you know, friends with benefits.”
Friends with benefits. Those words clung to me, poisoning my thoughts. This wasn’t just some random girl from his past; this was her. The chain smoking nail technician I’d been seeing in case of an emergency nail fix, the one who knew every broken nail that had failed me, now felt like my whole world had broken down. It made me sick.
The worst part? I should have seen the signs. I’d noticed she was a follower of Logan’s on Instagram weeks ago, which struck me as odd. She didn’t follow many of her clients, but I brushed it off as nothing. I mean, she wasn’t exactly his type; she wasn’t particularly attractive, always overdone with way too much makeup, and dressed like she was trying to relive her early twenties. Tight tops, low-cut jeans, too much eyeliner. She wasn’t subtle about the way she carried herself either. The rumours about her were well-known; how she used to hang around with bands, slipping backstage whenever she could. She was the kind of girl that most people tried to avoid. And now, I couldn’t avoid her.
I remembered the time she casually mentioned she’d had an abortion years ago, right in the middle of a conversation about new nail techniques. I was stunned by how nonchalant she was about it. “It was a one-off fling,” she had said. “One of those friends-with-benefits situations. I wasn’t ready for a kid with some guy I barely knew.” She had laughed it off like it was nothing, just another story in her long list of questionable life choices. I’d tried to act unfazed, but even back then, her words had stuck with me, haunting me in the quiet moments.
Now, knowing she had been with my Logan, I felt the bile rise in my throat. How long ago had it been? Was it recent? Was it while he was with me? Worse, had they been careless? Had he used a condom? I knew what kind of girl she was; the kind who didn’t think twice about casual hookups. The kind who didn’t seem to care about the consequences. And Logan… he had always been so carefree, so easygoing. Had he been just as reckless with her as he had been with me?
I couldn’t help picturing them together, her groupie persona trying to seduce him, and Logan; my Logan; falling for it. How many times had she been backstage with those bands, how many nameless flings had she had? The thought of him inside someone like her made my skin crawl. Trembling at the thought of getting checked for some sexually transmitted disease all because of my partner’s past carelessness!
“Everything okay?” she asked, turning to me with that overly sweet cigarette stained smile. She didn’t even know how much she had shattered me... How every word she spoke made my trust in Logan crumble a little more. I swallowed hard and forced a smile. “Yeah, just thinking,” I mumbled, praying my voice wouldn’t betray me.
But inside, I was spiralling. Did he love me, or was I just another fling? Another her? The worst part was, I didn’t know if I wanted to find out.”
In moments like these, it’s easy to spiral, to let your mind go to dark places. But the key is this: communication. Before your emotions run wild, take a step back and talk it out with your partner. Set boundaries. Voice your concerns. At the same time, don’t lose sight of your own value.
Someone else's history doesn’t define your worth, nor should it dictate the future of your relationship. Trust is a fragile thing, but it can be rebuilt if both people are willing to work at it. And if not, maybe the past is the universe's way of telling you something you needed to hear.
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