Behind the Screen

One trends that's sparked widespread debate and discomfort is the phenomenon of random direct messages; those creepy DM's that just stack on top of each other from guys to girls on Instagram. While these messages seem harmless, many women report experiencing a strong cringe worthy factor, followed by our recent poll with your real thoughts about this.

But what drives men to send these unsolicited messages, and why do they often backfire? 

After one of our readers approached us to share their story you may never want to open one ever again! For confidentiality reasons to maintain privacy names have been changed:

"It was a rainy evening, I’d just finished a long day at work and was looking forward to unwinding and curling up on my couch about to binge watch the rest of my reality series.  As I was about to enjoy my peace, my phone buzzed, glancing down, I saw a new notification from Instagram. A direct message from someone I didn't recognize.

Curiosity got the better of me, and I opened the message. "Hi Emma, I came across your profile and couldn't resist reaching out. You seem like someone I'd love to get to know. - Matthew." The profile picture was of a good-looking guy with a charming smile. Normally, I’d ignore random DMs, but something about this one intrigued me. Maybe it was the way his words were perfectly crafted to sound both sincere and flattering. In that moment I felt like playing along, what can I say I was bored and tired...I guess it felt entertaining at the time...

Against my better judgment, I replied, "Hi Matthew, thank you for the kind words. What made you decide to message me?" Almost instantly, he responded. "There’s something captivating about you, Emma. I felt there's something unique about you just by looking at your pictures and reading your posts." His quick response and the intensity of his words sent a shiver down my spine, but I brushed it off as excitement.

Over the next few days, Matthew and I exchanged messages constantly. He seemed perfect—too perfect. He knew exactly what to say, always making me feel special and understood. Frequently, he would lament about the lack of "real men" in today's world, often referencing his idol, a well-known public figure infamous for his controversial views. Matthew considered himself a "high value man" because of his supposed success, a topic he brought up often. But as our conversations deepened, a nagging feeling began to creep in. There was something off about how quickly he seemed to know so much about me. He would reference obscure details from my posts, things I had forgotten I had even shared.

Then the huge 'ick' bomb fell after receiving a new message from Matthew, weirdly enough usual time in the evening, which I had gathered is when he had HIS free time... the message though made my blood run cold. "You looked great in that pink tank top at the gym yesterday. It really shows your dedication." I hadn't posted anything about my gym visit, much less what I was wearing. My heart raced as I realized the implication. How could he know that?

The next day, I confided in my friend Rosie about the unsettling messages. Her face went pale. "Emma, I got a DM from a guy named Matthew last week. Same charming smile, same smooth lines." We compared messages and found they were nearly identical. Frantically, we did some digging and discovered he was a notorious slime ball. His so-called "success" was a façade, filled with exaggerated accomplishments and half-truths. Fear and disgust gripped me as I blocked him and reported his account, even had to change gym unfortunately thanks to the haunting reminder of how close I had come to letting a creep into my life. All I have to say is beware girls and send that DM straight to the dumpster!"

Do you have a story to share? We'd love to hear it! Contact us via our home page here on TheGlamStash blog.com