Behind the Charm

SJ
Aug 07, 2024By SJ

What defines "being insecure"? Men have often complained it comes out as a turn off; though there are instances where men like in one of our readers had experienced; when consciously or unconsciously, a man is most likely to bring out insecurities in us despite us having that inner self validation before they came along, leading to a ripple effect of self-doubt and emotional turmoil.

Sometimes a man’s attention, approval, or disapproval can significantly influence a woman's self-perception. Men who genuinely support and encourage their partners contribute positively to their self-esteem. However, those who exhibit behaviours such as a wandering eye, inconsistent affection, or subtle comparisons with other women can inadvertently (or deliberately) spark feelings of inadequacy. This can lead to a vicious cycle of self-doubt and anxiety.

Our new feature looks into real life events that are a common factor when it comes to relationships and no you don’t need a relationship coach for this one! This true story speaks for itself, because in relationships, as in life, self-worth should never be compromised. It’s essential to surround oneself with people who genuinely value and support one's true self. To maintain privacy names of persons have changed. Enjoy the feature:

“Life was good. No, life was great. I had a fulfilling job, an apartment in the poshest part of the city, and a close-knit group of friends who made every day an adventure! I wasn’t looking for love; I was perfectly content with my own company. That was until I met Andrew.

Andrew was the epitome of success. Tall, charismatic, and with a smile that could charm the coldest of hearts. He walked into my life with the confidence of a man who had the world at his feet. From our first encounter at a mutual friend’s party, he made his intentions clear. He wanted to be with me, and he went above and beyond to make that happen.

At first, it was intoxicating. The attention, the lavish dates, the way he looked at me like I was the only woman in the room. I found myself falling for him, despite my initial reservations. But as the days turned into weeks, I began to notice things that gnawed at my self-esteem, which was an unfamiliar feeling since I hadn’t last felt that way from way back in my early teenage years.

Andrew had a wandering eye. It wasn’t blatant, but subtle enough to make me question my worth. I’d catch him glancing at other women, a fleeting look that left a sting of insecurity. I started comparing myself to every woman we encountered, wondering what they had that I didn’t, started noticing he’d often have his phone turned face down if I were close by or he’d instantly change what he was looking at on his phone if I passed by, all I kept thinking is, whatever he’s hiding he definitely does not want me knowing of it! Despite his reassurances, the doubts crept in, slowly eroding my confidence.

The man who once made me feel like I was on top of the world now made me feel like I wasn’t enough at times. I began to wonder if I was just another trophy in his collection, a conquest to be flaunted but never fully cherished. We’d often meet up with his single friends all who had a date for the night with women filled to the brim with injections and bodily prosthetics to please a man’s eye. Little details slowly got me thinking...It’s true when they say show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are...

My anxiety started to become a constant battle between my love for him and my growing insecurities, regardless of the quality of his attention towards me... it made me question everything even more. I found myself dressing up more, trying harder to meet an unattainable standard I had set for myself. I wanted to be the woman who could hold his attention, but the more I tried, the more I felt I was losing myself.

One evening, after a particularly draining day at work, I confronted Andrew. “Why do you do it?” I asked, my voice trembling. “Why do you check out every girl that walks past as if I wasn’t there?”

His surprise was genuine, but his answer was not. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, pulling me into his arms. “You’re everything to me.”

But his words rang hollow. I realized that no amount of reassurance could fill the void his behaviour had created. It was then that I knew I had to make a choice. I could either continue to let him undermine my self-worth, or I could reclaim the confidence I once had. After a few more incidents that validated where his loyalty laid out to be it confirmed that it wasn’t with me; despite his verbal reassurance, I knew what I had to do and ended it.”

After receiving our reader’s story you can’t help but think how funny it is when half-truths come across as positive, but the real truth always comes across negative because of the fear of confrontation and the discomfort it brings. We often accept these half-truths because they feed into our need for validation without challenging our self-perception. However, embracing the real truth, no matter how uncomfortable, is the first step towards genuine self-worth. It's time to face the reality, shed the insecurities, and build a foundation of confidence that no fleeting glance or empty compliment can shake!

If you would like to share a story in this eventful universe, contact us directly on our homepage for your chance to get feature on TheGlamStashblog.com!